#10 just a memory

Can you believe that I am getting complaints that I don't post often enough? I promise to try harder!!!!! I want to post inspiring, uplifting prose and sometimes I just don't feel like it.

So now I am closing in on the known factor to this current situation. I know I have 2 more
regular treatments and then one shorter one to make up for lowering doses recently.
After that it is regular testing, MRI's and of course my all time favorite the colonocsopy.
I read in the Oregonian today that colon cancer survival rates are up due to early detection.
I am so glad the message is getting out. Now if only everyone was insured and could get screened, that would be great. Anyway- the port will have to be removed at some point.
If I didn't tell you, they inserted a porti n my left chest under the breastbone. It eleminates the
constant IV. Most of the time I don't know it is there. It is the size of a quarter and is under the skin. Sometime when my hand grazes it I feel like the bionic women.

I am scheduled to teach winter term. So great to get back go some kind of normal.
(As if I was ever truly nomal.) I miss my students. I am also excited about volunteering
again at Laura's school. Before I know it I'll be yelling at Chris's ball games. I know I keep keep learning from this whole experience. As a control freak and someone who schedules everything- I have learned patience and how to just let it go.
I have no choice. When something like this happens you have to turn it over to the Dr.s and your family and friends. I am amazed that I do sleep at night and don't worry so much about the future. There is nothing I can do except take care of myself and love my family.

3 co-workers and friends from MHCC dropped by last week. So great to catch up and feel
apart of something. They brought flowers and cookies. I loved it.

More good stuff to come.

Liz

Engine, engine number 9

Wasn't that a song in our youth or a jump rope chant? Anyway- 3 days out of number 9-3 1/2
to go. Platlet count did go up but not enough for a full dose. Red hands and feet and very drippy nose and eyes.....I look like a drunken sailor as I try to pick out food at Winco with this stuff running down my face. I can't see crap so I am pretty sure I got some funky gravy mix for our T Giving turkey. Very tired this go around. Looking forward to the holidays. And the end of treatment. I must admit that I am afraid of the unknown. When I am done what will the future tests show? How will I navigate any more bad news. You try not to let these things enter you train of thought, but they do. Other than my Mother passing this is the most challenging thing that has ever happened to me. I have nothing in my life to refer to and can only press forward. I
am inspired by people who have struggled for years and young people who spend most fof their day in a hospital. I realize that I have it good. I am free to love my family and take my treatment at home with only slight inconvenience. I am being maudlin again. Sorry. I keep
thinkikng what is the life lesson I am getting from this? I may only find out as time passes
and I can put this journey in perspective. I am grateful for my family, friends, Dr.s (even clog wearing ones...) I here for Thanksgiving and that is all that matter.

Hope everyone has a good one.


Liz

Plugging along number 8

Am in the middle of number 8 now. I am 48hours out of dosing. My platelet count is low, so they adjust that portion of the chemo...(skipped it) and raised the other parts. So side affectsd i havent' had for a month are returning and now I get the pleasure of one last dose in Jan. No pump...just the nasty chemical I don't like. If I don't like it then my cancer won't like it either!!
I geuss I am a little bummed that it is taking so long and then the tests start again. I am resigning myself to a life with cancer for a long time. The key word is life.

Most of the staff at the oncology clinic dressed up for Halloween. I think they all should have been vampires. They have sucked lots of blood out of me. They are a fun competant crew.
So kind and caring. Plus the snacks they have around are not bad.

Thanks to Martha who took me on an adventure to Jamba Juice!!!!! You know I don't get out much when juice is exciting. I am also overwhelmed by cards and e-mails and meals we get.
I figure everyone will just forget about it and you don't/ haven't/won't!!!!!!!

Thanksgiving will breeze by and then Christmas. Jim's brother will be here! Also helpful
and full of laughs.

So off I go for #9 in about a week and 1/2. Wasn't ' that a dirty movie?????

Liz