Almost Done

Hi-

Sorry have really been bad about the blog.   No excuses.  I am so happy that Christmas Eve will 

be number 12.  Last time I leave with the pump.  I may sleep through the Holiday-not worrying about that.  Then in Jan. I will return for one more treatment in the clinic-then done until tests in the spring.  I am ready to teach again and hope I fell well enough to return to the PTC.  At this point I am almost a recluse!  Jim's brother Dave is in town from Florida for the holidays.

He is a funny guy who really loves the kids.  Now they have another male Rizzo to tackle.

My older brother may be driving up for a few days from California.

The last 6 months feel surreal at this point.....like it happened to someone else.  My prognosis

is very good. I am eager to take my life back.  I know my family is looking forward to me being involved again.

More after I hook up next week.

Liz   

   

#10 just a memory

Can you believe that I am getting complaints that I don't post often enough? I promise to try harder!!!!! I want to post inspiring, uplifting prose and sometimes I just don't feel like it.

So now I am closing in on the known factor to this current situation. I know I have 2 more
regular treatments and then one shorter one to make up for lowering doses recently.
After that it is regular testing, MRI's and of course my all time favorite the colonocsopy.
I read in the Oregonian today that colon cancer survival rates are up due to early detection.
I am so glad the message is getting out. Now if only everyone was insured and could get screened, that would be great. Anyway- the port will have to be removed at some point.
If I didn't tell you, they inserted a porti n my left chest under the breastbone. It eleminates the
constant IV. Most of the time I don't know it is there. It is the size of a quarter and is under the skin. Sometime when my hand grazes it I feel like the bionic women.

I am scheduled to teach winter term. So great to get back go some kind of normal.
(As if I was ever truly nomal.) I miss my students. I am also excited about volunteering
again at Laura's school. Before I know it I'll be yelling at Chris's ball games. I know I keep keep learning from this whole experience. As a control freak and someone who schedules everything- I have learned patience and how to just let it go.
I have no choice. When something like this happens you have to turn it over to the Dr.s and your family and friends. I am amazed that I do sleep at night and don't worry so much about the future. There is nothing I can do except take care of myself and love my family.

3 co-workers and friends from MHCC dropped by last week. So great to catch up and feel
apart of something. They brought flowers and cookies. I loved it.

More good stuff to come.

Liz

Engine, engine number 9

Wasn't that a song in our youth or a jump rope chant? Anyway- 3 days out of number 9-3 1/2
to go. Platlet count did go up but not enough for a full dose. Red hands and feet and very drippy nose and eyes.....I look like a drunken sailor as I try to pick out food at Winco with this stuff running down my face. I can't see crap so I am pretty sure I got some funky gravy mix for our T Giving turkey. Very tired this go around. Looking forward to the holidays. And the end of treatment. I must admit that I am afraid of the unknown. When I am done what will the future tests show? How will I navigate any more bad news. You try not to let these things enter you train of thought, but they do. Other than my Mother passing this is the most challenging thing that has ever happened to me. I have nothing in my life to refer to and can only press forward. I
am inspired by people who have struggled for years and young people who spend most fof their day in a hospital. I realize that I have it good. I am free to love my family and take my treatment at home with only slight inconvenience. I am being maudlin again. Sorry. I keep
thinkikng what is the life lesson I am getting from this? I may only find out as time passes
and I can put this journey in perspective. I am grateful for my family, friends, Dr.s (even clog wearing ones...) I here for Thanksgiving and that is all that matter.

Hope everyone has a good one.


Liz

Plugging along number 8

Am in the middle of number 8 now. I am 48hours out of dosing. My platelet count is low, so they adjust that portion of the chemo...(skipped it) and raised the other parts. So side affectsd i havent' had for a month are returning and now I get the pleasure of one last dose in Jan. No pump...just the nasty chemical I don't like. If I don't like it then my cancer won't like it either!!
I geuss I am a little bummed that it is taking so long and then the tests start again. I am resigning myself to a life with cancer for a long time. The key word is life.

Most of the staff at the oncology clinic dressed up for Halloween. I think they all should have been vampires. They have sucked lots of blood out of me. They are a fun competant crew.
So kind and caring. Plus the snacks they have around are not bad.

Thanks to Martha who took me on an adventure to Jamba Juice!!!!! You know I don't get out much when juice is exciting. I am also overwhelmed by cards and e-mails and meals we get.
I figure everyone will just forget about it and you don't/ haven't/won't!!!!!!!

Thanksgiving will breeze by and then Christmas. Jim's brother will be here! Also helpful
and full of laughs.

So off I go for #9 in about a week and 1/2. Wasn't ' that a dirty movie?????

Liz

Number 7 Rounding 2nd for home

Hi all-

I am dosed, hooked up and feeling OK. Mild nausea. Spending lots of time in the bathroom.
I have so many medications I have to write them down to keep track. One is opium based....
so if see me naked on a scafold painting my house fusia.....you will know why!!
I got a halloween cookie bouquet from the PTC. Love it. Thanks.

I will keep you updated thorugh 7. More later


Liz

Chemo #6 is done

Ok- I am 1/2 way there! Not to complain but I can't get a break! I stay out of crowded places and rest and I still caught a virus. Nothing like spiking a fever in the middle of chemo. Nausea
no better- but with Jim's help I am eating. I fell like this is a crappy amusement ride that will never end. If it sounds like I am losing my sense of humor, I am. MY blood counts are good and weight is steady....Oh Joy. I get letters and e-mails and food and calls. I am grateful for them all. Tomorrow will be a better day.

Stay tuned- I might find my funny bone again.

Liz

How it all started

Hi all-

Still working on #5. Next chemo Oct. 1st.

I have heard that some people didn't know how this all started and I thought I should fill you in.

In March I had a Dr's appt. for a cold or something....I mentioned that when I would go to the bathroom, I felt like I had to go back. Incomplete they call it. We figured hemorriods or something simple. Pushing 50 I was told that a routine colonoscopy was what I needed.
Colonoscopy's are NO BIG DEAL!!!!!!!! YOUR ASLEEP!!!!. The prep is the pits. I remember the nurse talking about polyps.....they would biopsy and call the Doc in a few days. Before I could call they called me and said that 1 of 3 had cancer. I remember being in the bathroom crying
because Laura was in the den and I had no idea what or how to act. I was told to get Jim and come in the next day. In a whirlwind of planning, I was set to have laproscopic surgery
a month later. This was the fix. Remove the part of the colon where the cancer lived and the surrounding area. I had the surgery, was up and walking the next day. Your cured everyone thought. I wanted to wait for the pathology. 7 out of 27 lymph nodes were cancerous. Chemo.
I went from such a lucky girl to an ordinary sick person. But I have friends and co workers who keep my on task and thinking positive. And then there is Jim and the kids. The 3 muskateers.
I am blessed to have them all.
Now you know the rest of the story.

Liz

5 is a charm!!!!

It's a go!

I have been set up for a 50% dose with lots of instructions. I am to notify the Dr. if certain things occur....and not wait. I am also trying to eat even though I don't feel like it. 7 hours and the sensitivity for hands and mouth have already returned. To go from almost normal to crappy so quickly really stinks. But who can argue with crappy or gone!!!!! I can get throughc this and onto 6. After 6 I am gonna go shopping. Not sure what I am gonna get-maybe a horse or zebra! Just kidding. Concentrating on today. Happy thoughts please!!!!!

More after I drop off the pump Friday.

Liz

Tomorrow the 17th is D Day

Hey!

Had a great weekend visiting with my firend Scott from NYC. He flew into Seattle and treated us all to Shrek the Musical. Very good. The show is in previews before going to New York.
Then we brought my friend home where we played tourist for a few days. Scott and I met doing Showboat in 1981. Can't believe I have had a friend so long. He says it works because we only see each other every five years or so.

Need lots of prayers tomorrow. Checking my wieght and numbers. If all OK. we do number 5.
I need to really watch my nutrition and get plenty of rest. I don't want more delays.
Jim has been making these crazy shakes that have a blast of stuff from GNC that has 750 calories. I have had a better appetite this week and am m hoping for the best.

Missing the college and all my volunteer stuff. Will miss the Raider Dancers this year.
Life interupted. Not fair but reality.

Think of me tomorrow.

I will report whats doing.

Thanks



Liz

Free Week

Went to the Dr. yesterday. Have lost too much wieght......never thought I would ever hear those words......and red blood count down. Need another week to recover from #4. Not sure what the reaction will be, but we will try a lower dose and hope for the best. If my body can't handle the chemo I figure the cancer couldn't take it either. I am focusing on the day and not the future.
So I am off to Seattle with my family to met up with an old friend. We are seeing Shrek the musical and then I will bring him home for a few days. We performed together in the early 80's
and I have never been able to shake him. I went to NYC in 84 and shortly after Scott arrived.
He is a native New Yorker now and I can't wait to see him.

so chemo #5 next Wed. cross your fingers.

Liz

Today is a big day

I have been home from the hospital for almost a week and I feel better than I have since I started Chemo. They are trying a new long lasting nausea drug. Today we check all my levels and then maybe tomorrow, try a reduced chemo regimen. I pray for that. I don't delays that push this into 09. I want to finish it now. I am not teaching this fall at the college. Breaks my heart. I love the college and my students. So I am free and available to do nothing but care for me. If I have to lie in my bed and eat rice 3 times a day to stay straight....I will do it.

I am told everyday by someone that they are praying for me and want to help. Food is still being dropped and good wishes are flowing my way. If nothing else I am comforted by my family and community and it means everything.

Planning my 50 1/2 B'day for Feb. Just save every Sat. because we haven't picked a date yet.
Huge blow-out like the Holiday do. Presents required. I am thinking of registering at a few places.......just kidding.

More after the vist to the oncologist.


Liz

Maybe Today!!!!

I might go home today. It has been 9 days and I feel like a pin cushion. Doc is coming by today to check everything. Laura is not feeling well and Jim is having to take care of that as well as everything else. I love him for being a great husband and Dad.

I will let you know if I get sprung.


Liz

Down but not out!!!!!

I have been in Mount Hood Legacy Hospital since Aug. 25th. The chemo has brought down the big girl. Until I can eat and keep food down and have evrything run normally.....I can't go home.
Were have been keeing it on th QT, because I have felt so lousy. I have lots of Dr.s working
on every part of my body . I am holding it together but just barely. Jim is on kids, home and job duty. He is very worried. I will update as the 2nd week progresses.


Liz

Chemo 4 and more....check out the pic...magnifying glass reuired

Spent a long time at the clinic yesterday. Good news is white count holding....platelet low.
They will be making adjustments almost everyweek as we go forward. Dr. was also happy I hadn't lost any weight. Nevr heard that before!!!!!I feel like a car on the production line that has to be constantly tweaked before it can be sold. So the picture is from our cruise in March 08. Jim has a new camera andI will have him take a pick of all of us so you can see my new really short hair.....I turn 50 on Sunday- We are keeping it very low key...not sure how I will fell. May have a big bash at 50 1/2. Most years we go to the State Fair for my birthday. I hope I feel well enough. This city girl loves to watch those 4h kids beating the crap out of their pigs so they standup straight and their tail doesnt'r curl too much. I also ways wonder where PETA is???? Chris stands at the side of the pen and says "Bacon....come here Bacon."
Then he runs and hides behide an Alpaca. Anyway- Jim still providing the best care ever.
He is going out in search of pot pies the pm. Doc says I gotta load up and eat healthy. Which by the way no longer includes any raw food. Doesn't compute well with the system.
I will be craving fruit and salads in the spring.


More tomorrow.


Liz

Cruising on day day 8

Four days to go until treatment #4. I am a little depressed that I don't fell better. I don't even feel funny.....I do have more resolve that no matter how I feel I must plod forward. My good friend Martha picked my up sugared ginger. One little bite is like a whole bunch of gingerales!
When I finish this episode I will probably never drink another gingerale again. So-
big weekend---Chris will be 14 on Monday---a 9th grader. Laura is my angel. When ever I have a moment this little girl puts her hand on my shoulder and says that everything will be OK.
Not a position a child should be in.....but so glad to have them as well as JIM on my side.

Liz

No likey chemo

Total nausea. Cut my hair so when you see me on the street you need to salute. No lie.
I spend my day sipping gingerale in between small tasks like folding a load of clothes. Everyday I wake up and hope I feel better. Jims Aunt Gloria sent me a fabulous Catholic mass card
for Lourdes and healing. I think she got it signed by a big wig priest. I am sure he said "Gloria
tell me who this Liz is?!" Jim has great Aunts and Uncles, sometimes on our birthdays they forget our age and stick a $10 spot in......we spend it. Now I must pull out the check book and pay some medical bills.....I am counting every cotton ball.

#4 next week- maybe they will have invented new nausea meds by then.

Liz

Chemo #3

All hooked for this treatment. Trying new nausea medicine.....and reducing my treatment just enough to lower the affects. I didn't know that blisters would form on the bottom of my feet especially if I danced aroound on them for 6 hours!!!!!!!!!!!! So I an't dancing now. Doc says I have lost 12 pounds....not good......maybe not for him. How come I still can't zipper my fat jeans.
This is what I spend my day wondering when I am not putting gloves on to hold a cold beverage or have my husband lovenly count my bites of burger eaten. Lif is so different for me now.
But thi thing has proven to me time and time again how this move to the Northwest has always been the best thing. All the funny cards, gifts phone calls and food have put me right where I want to be-------a CELEBRITY!!!!!! I knew some day I would have fame and fortune and it is
here. Ok.....it is getting deep.

More later.....

Same Day

Update on Jim......I figure he may read this and that is ok.

I have to say this before I forget and regress back into this is my website thing.


He is the best. He takes the best care of me and no one takes care of him back. I mean in terms
of how he feels and is handling this situations. Relax....I still make sauce and do laundry.

He has turned out to be the best of all possible partners and I am blessed to have him with me.
He is providing a lasting impression to Chris and Laura about life and how we handle challenges.

I am praying we have another 20 (at least) together.

LR

Posting # 2 FEELING BETTER

JULY 31ST----PAY DAY GOTTA LOVE IT!!!!!!

Not so queasy today.......visited my Doc yesterday----I call him ISH....
because everything that happens to me is a ISH. If I get a test result....it may be low "ish".
His other favorite is the word worrysome......something will come up and he will say it is not worrysome......SO WHY DID YOU TELL ME!!!!! Don't get me wrong he is tall, handsome, smells good and aswers my calls and e-mails......I think I will keep himmmmmmmmm......ish.